Saturday, March 27, 2010

It was better in my imagination

When I was six, or eight, or whatever age I happened to be when I went to the supermarket with my mother, I used to look with envy at the children whose parents were kind enough to buy them unhealthy food. How I longed for pudding, how I dreamt of orange pop, how I wished I could sink my teeth into any one of the candies being sold at the checkout. But one treat I desired more than any other.
Every time I passed the drinks section of any supermarket, a particular fizzy beverage caught my eye. It came in plastic containers that were roughly half the height of any adequately sized pop bottle. Just imagine a pop bottle upon which a large weight had been placed. A grenade-sized pop bottle. A pop bottle that drank too much caffeine when it was a child. I'm sure if I had looked closer, I would have read the words Serves 1 committed dieter or two hamsters.
The marketing department of this particular drink had looked at the bottle and its potential customers (who, let's face it, weren't going to be dieters or hamsters), and named it Chubby. Its mascot was a fat little man in a yellow cap and red shirt. He had a particularly bulbous nose that I'm sure was supposed to be endearing. My eight-year-old self thought it was.
I don't know whether it was the child-sized bottle, or the bright colours, or the endearing nose that interested me. All I know was that my soul was drawn to the bottles of Chubby, and I never got one. I can't remember asking my mum to buy one for me, but I'm sure I did, and I'm sure she said no.
It was not until this evening that I realized that, being a college student, I could finally buy a Chubby for myself. For many months I have been taking advantage of the fact that I can buy many of the things I desired more of when I was a child. I don't do this often, and I am always careful to eat healthy food too. I am also lucky that few of the things I desire, with the exception of Chubby, are particularly unhealthy. In any case, I hadn't even noticed the bottles of Chubby until tonight. I looked quickly at the price, and decided that it was worth 33 cents to fulfill a childhood dream. So I bought one.
I drank it on the way back home. It tasted like crap.

6 comments:

Ben said...

Sam my boy, sometimes childhood tastes like crap...
on the topic of food, have to tried procuitto, or pomegranates??
those are two things I thoroughly enjoy

Luke Anthony said...

Brilliant, brilliant. Nice theological implications, too.

Who knows, perhaps you repressed the night you first drank Chubby, the night your parents took you to sit through the entire opera of "The Tragic Clown"... Perhaps the fizzy drink, running down your throat like so many salty tears, had been made with an extra portion of Bitter Memories...

sarah said...

hahahaa
my parents were mean enough to not buy me those unhealthy snacks too.
they had chubbys as the drink for pizza day in primary school if i remember correctly. the day of longing, it should be called. i NEVER got pizza day.
also on the list of things i was never lucky enough to have: dunkaroos, lunchables, fruit roll-ups, juice boxes..

you should update your blog more often!

Jonathan said...

I seem to recall that a neighbour handed out Orange Chubbys for Hallowe'en one year. Not liking fizzy drinks back then, I let one of my parents have it. They weren't impressed by the drink itself, though the plastic bottle got a thorough washing and was used as a water bottle for at least the next five years of primary school.

Reduce, reuse, regurgitate!

Sam Smith said...

Ben: I have tried pomegranates, but not procuitto. Someday, perhaps.

Luke: Thanks. I hadn't planned to add any theological implications, but if they're there, I don't mind too much.

Sarah: We have much in common. And I think I might start updating my blog a little more frequently. Could be fun :)

Jonathan: I cannot imagine what the chemicals from that bottle did to you. I hope you're alright. I'll be praying for you.

Grace R. Pringle said...

Wow... you had me all into the story and then BAM! My happy feelings where smacked in the face :_: I forgive you though, just because I'm impressed you managed to invoke my stunned surprise at the end.